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In need of an electionectomy
by Larry Wilson
Jul 27, 2010 | 847 views | 0 0 comments | 8 8 recommendations | email to a friend | print
I’m facing cataract surgery in a few weeks and I couldn’t help thinking that my surgery is similar to the general election we will all hopefully take part in early in November.

The surgery takes only about 15 minutes and the election takes place for one day. The recovery is short for the eye surgery, but sometimes we seemingly never recover from the results of the elections if you listen to all the political rhetoric before and after the voting process. The campaign ads almost make a seasoned voter want to do something other than vote, given the fact that the various candidates basically are telling us that whoever we elected was the wrong person for the job. At the risk of being labeled a latter-day doofus the next time around, why should the voters even try to elect anyone this time?

The whole reason for the eye surgery is that your vision has blurred with age. This surgery is a once-in-a-lifetime way to correct your vision. That, in and of itself, is very reassuring knowing that what Father Time has wrought upon your eyes can be repaired. All the candidates try throughout their campaign to show you that your vision of the correct candidate in the last election has blurred the collective eyesight of the voting population. The opposition to the incumbent candidate can somehow miraculously give all the voters perfect vision if only we would vote for the challenger.

Going into the surgery, the doctor apparently puts you into a sort of medically induced stupor to relax you and insure that you don’t inadvertently lurch at the wrong time during the procedure. Political campaigns put you into a sort of stupor as well with the blitz on your senses throughout the campaign with various persuasion schemes.

The various campaign machines are kind of like the fogger trucks that used to come around dispensing mosquito spray in the summer evenings when I was a kid. Everyone gets hit with it whether they want to or not, and all of it, regardless how close to it you are, smells bad.

The process did in the mosquitoes, apparently, and I’m not too sure that the process didn’t eventually take out some of the humans that experienced a direct hit from that load of foul-smelling chemical fog. I learned a long time ago that if something smells that bad, it probably isn’t good for you in any form. Could it be that political campaigns have taken us all out through the years of the constant yada-yada process that goes on?

The doctors tell me there are three choices of corrective replacement lenses to choose from but all three will do wonders once the procedure is completed. That is almost like the campaign promises we hear every election year. There is always a better mousetrap out there and we voters can get rid of all the rats if only we vote for the right candidate.

Whomever you want to elect, please be sure to at least go and vote. Despite all of the campaign rhetoric, after Election Day it’s all over. Go and vote using your clear mind and vote with your heart. We will all sit back and admire the results. At least for the first day after the election.

Larry Wilson is a 50-year resident of Sparks and a retired elementary school teacher. You can contact him at
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