but he had his women by twos and threes,
God save the bastard King of England!”
— 17th century British Royal Navy chantey
Now that our Tiger has turned out to be a tomcat, the volume of puritanical hypocrisy being broadcast speaks volumes on the subject of American refusal to face well-researched realities. In this era of legislated correctness of every behavior imaginable by man we continue to dedicate ourselves to moral codes and anti-natural laws, most of which we then we fail to enforce for fear of learning how many of us are collectively guilty of whatever sin we seek to deter.
One of the T.V. pundits, while predicting crowds jeering at golf tourneys and slumping sales for Buick and status tennis shoes, declared that Tiger Woods was a “great golfer but a failure as a man.” Either the commentator is gay or some sort of the new metro-sexual revolution. His lack of testosterone may be measurable, and speculation of its cause, from diet to DNA, social and school pressures or the feminist propaganda that has dominated public discourse for several decades maybe entertaining but fails to address the basic issue.
Way down deep, where biochemistry creates the beadwork of DNA, there is one constant objective: propagate. We, the temporary caretakers of this immortal individual, die with disturbing regularity and only by breeding as often and as broadly as possible can the continuum of existence be maintained. To this end we produce estrogen in females and testosterone in males, both of which are mind-altering drugs capable of driving the individual to extremes of behavior. Witness the courting rituals of nearly every species on earth, mankind included.
Society has arrogated itself the power to declare various practices good and bad, both for the person and the populace. Monogamous marriage as a foundation for family survival is popular in developed nations, although plural marriages are successful in rural agricultural communities as well. Church and government conspire to incentivize their favored systems, and outlaw any transgressions thereof. A predictable conflict between man and nature is the result. Enter adultery, man’s most popular crime against the established order.
The chief battleground is the libido, and the instinct to seek sexual success is overpowering. Man may suppress the urge from manners or vague guilt from childhood and religious training, but multiple sexual “conquests” are really the only reward most of us ever enjoy on this karmic turn. And the symbols of that success are the quality and quantity of females in his entourage/harem.
Tiger Woods, and a bevy of other professional athletes, have been offered willing sex partners by the hundreds in their celebrity pastimes, as have movie stars and politicians. The chemistry of “groupies” has never been seriously explored. Whatever the root causes, there is a lot of free fornication being enjoyed by those who win the game of life, and freedom of choice offered by chemical birth control has only exacerbated the situation. When asked why he paid for sex, Charlie Sheen told a reporter he didn’t pay for sex, he paid them to go away.
While the puritanical and political make pronouncements disparaging Tiger Woods’ manhood, men across the world are secretly or openly envious of his score in the mating game, and wish him well as the top dog in the pack.
Woods needs to work out the complications of his habits and marriage, and a small dose of humility might be in order, but let’s not pretend that Tiger is some sort of pervert of sex addict.
He’s just a guy, and you know how men are.
“Travus T. Hipp” is a 40-year veteran radio commentator with six stations in California carrying his daily version of the news and opinions. "The Poor Hippy’s Paul Harvey,” Travus is a member of the Nevada Broadcasters Hall of Fame, but unemployable in the Silver State due to his eclectic political views.