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Can Amazon drones deliver healthy cigarettes?
by Andrew Barbano
Jan 10, 2014 | 1182 views | 0 0 comments | 13 13 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Last year was bad enough as we flung ourselves back to the future of driverless cars, pilotless drones and rudderless politicians. So where do we go from here? How about...

DRONE PROMOTING AND AEROBIC SMOKING: Last week came mass e-mails selling spray-on weight loss, the most outrageous diet promise this side of amputation.

Now come healthy cigarettes. (Is smoking aerobic?)

"Stay healthy while smoking," promises an ad from XOCigs. (XO, as in kiss your lungs goodbye?)

"Looks, feels and tastes like a real cigarette." It also hooks you on nicotine.

Everything old is new again. John Wayne once appeared in ads for "healthy" Camel cigarettes and died of lung cancer. XO marks the spot. Be careful. It might attract drones.

"Do you think there will be a drone hunting season alá Colorado?" wrote Tom Hudson in response to last week's "Solar-powered insurance drones from hell."

"Maybe the governor had to promise a No Drone Season to get Nevada in the running" for designation as a predator guinea pig. (Submit corporate welfare applications early on Amazon.com.)

The state needs money, but how far will the Sandoval administration go? Drone hunting licenses? Aerial banners? Fuselage ads, perhaps?

Unlike birds and bunnies, will drones be allowed to shoot back? Will there be penalties for feeding drones like the laws against feeding bears? Will honeybees sue for trademark infringement over ownership of the brand name?

What about drone proliferation? Will activists raise moral objections to drone population control? Will protests spread to animal shelters that advocate birth control? Do the Little Sisters of the Poor who busted Obamacare spay and neuter their pets?

Maybe we should just ice a cold one, light up, sit back and leave drone development to Utah. They're into bees, right?

TRANSITIONS: We lost friends last year. On New Year's Day came word of the Dec. 22 passing of 30-year Circus Circus-Reno baker Roy Whoit Howard, 74. The affable union man served as Culinary Local 226 delegate to the Sparks-based Northern Nevada Central Labor Council/AFL-CIO.

Rock star Jello Biafra informed Nevada about the loss of Washoe Valley native Cimber Weaver, 52. The founder of a series of music shops (The Wave, The Cave, Insurrection Sound) died on Nov. 9 in Oregon following surgery. I knew him in his younger days as manager of Straw Hat Pizza in Reno's Shoppers Square.

RENDER UNTO CESAR: Northern Nevada César Chávez Celebration XII happens again on the great labor leader's birthday, March 31, 2014. Commit for tickets and tables now at CesarChavezNevada.com before prices increase. I'm planning a TV special about César Chávez's days in Nevada. Stay tuned.

ANTE INTO THE GAME: Support the new season of Barbwire.TV/

PayPal monthly subscription software is now operational at the website. A thousand thanks to those who already responded. We've got work to do.

Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga infierno.

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