Check Out Our Sports Photo Galleries Contact Us
Tit for Tat: Lydia and Kap
by Andrew Barbano
Dec 12, 2012 | 2212 views | 0 0 comments | 3 3 recommendations | email to a friend | print
      Lydia, oh Lydia, say,

have you met Lydia?

        Lydia the Tattooed Lady.

When her robe is unfurled,                                                     

        She will show you the world.

You can learn a lot from Lydia.

        For two bits she will do

a mazurka in jazz

        With a view of Niagara

that nobody has

        And on a clear day, You can see Alcatraz.

        You can learn a lot from Lydia.

Blogger David Whitley has been trashed from Sunday night to Sin City for criticizing SFO 49er quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s tattoos.

“He is the CEO of a high-profile organization and you don’t want your CEO to look like he just got paroled,” Whitley wrote for AOL/Sporting News. Funny zinger.

“Perhaps the worst article in the history of sports,” groused one humorless hack who called Whitley a hack, then spat “subtle (and then not-so-subtle) racism.”

Gollygeewillikers, Batman.

Doug Farrar (aka Hack2, appropriately from Yahoo), added that Kap’s tats contain Bible verses, Psalms 18:39 and 27:3.

“They are about asking God to help kick somebody’s butt,” the former Wolf Pack star’s mom, Teresa, told the UNR newspaper Sagebrush.

Lots of people are shooting right now because they know for sure that God wants to help them kick somebody’s butt.

I understand Mr. Kaepernick’s a devoted Christian, but if you look through the Old Testament, Christian it ain’t.

“Do not tattoo yourselves. I am the Lord,” advises another passage from the big butt-kicking old book (Leviticus 19:28).

Hack2’s principal defense of the fine young man is that he’s a fine young man. No argument. Colin Kaepernick appears to be a mensch.

He didn’t start the tat fad but will do much to perpetuate it.

Alas, there’s the rub. Millions of sheep follow media stars. Consenting adults are free to get needled and risk hepatitis, liver damage and, perhaps worst of all, incompetent artwork with mis-spelled names.

A few years ago at the height of singer Britney Spears’ teen popularity, I was embarrassed at the sad sight of a 40-something woman, more than 50 pounds overweight, exhibiting her substantial stretch marks for grocery shoppers by overflowing a skimpy Britney-inspired bare-midriff top.

Count Basie once advised Lena Horne that there were prettier and more talented singers, “but you got picked.”

Same with young Colin. He got picked and many will follow his lead. And some of it won’t be pretty.

GROUCHO, CALL YOUR OFFICE. Oscar winners Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg (“Over the Rainbow”) wrote “Lydia the Tattooed Lady” for the 1939 Marx Bros. film “At the Circus.” Performed on the “The Muppet Show” and reportedly Jim Henson’s favorite song, the Muppets sang it at his funeral.

I don’t wanna know if Miss Piggy got tats.

Be well. Raise hell.

Andrew Barbano is a 44-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com/ E-mail Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.
Comments
(0)
Comments-icon Post a Comment
No Comments Yet
Featured Businesses