Check Out Our Sports Photo Galleries Contact Us
Destination litigation
by Nathan Orme
Jun 21, 2008 | 993 views | 39 39 comments | 37 37 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Earlier this week, in the cozy chairs of the Sparks City Council chambers, an expert (most likely a well-paid one) came to give officials some advice on selling the city. He spoke at length about things like slogans, signs and service — all of which apparently need to improve if Sparks is to become the tourist draw on which elected officials and RED Development are staking not only their reputations but residents’ tax dollars.

This expert, Roger Brooks, of Destination Development Inc., used the example of Las Vegas’ recent successful marketing campaign to return to its reputation as an adult playground after trying for years to market itself as a family destination. Say it with me, you know the words: “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” He showed clips of the phrase being used over and over on television by hosts or even by characters in scripted shows. There was even a clip of First Lady Laura Bush repeating the phrase. Not only was it a catchy string of seven words but it had a lurid appeal that even uptight conservatives could appreciate.

If you want to read the full report on Brooks’ suggestions, read the June 19 issue of the Tribune, or go to www.dailysparkstribune.com and search “identity.”

City officials have said they want to promote Sparks as a family destination. It didn’t work for Vegas because, let’s face it, when we go to Vegas we want to create our own dirty little secrets. It’s kind of like our Disneyland, except instead of going on the Alice in Wonderland ride we can consume the necessary intoxicants to create our own wonderland and the Snow White puts on a risque show involving all Seven Dwarfs — and possibly Roger Rabbit.

By contrast, Sparks is a much less lurid kind of place. The motivating factor behind this need for a slogan that sells is, of course, the big bucks being spent on the Legends at Sparks Marina and all it entails: the Scheels All Sports, the new hotel-casino and all the dining and shopping attractions that will be built. Then there is the marina itself, with all of it’s, um, water. No matter how hot it gets, though, I have been warned by a few folks that the water in the marina is not the best for swimming.

Being from Orange County, Calif., and having grown up in the shadow of The Magic Kingdom, I have a pretty grandiose notion of a “tourist destination.” For a long time, there was just Disneyland, which was a big enough draw in itself. A few years back the guys in suits at Disney decided there needed to be more, so they built the California Adventure theme park right next door to Disneyland, complete with more rides and attractions all paying homage to the various natural and man-made wonders of the Golden State. As if that wasn’t enough, in between the two parks they put in Downtown Disney, replete with a movie theater, shops and mega-restaurants where tourists and locals could mingle while waiting two hours for a table at which to eat over-priced food.

It sounds like the Sparks Marina development will be comparable to the Downtown Disney development, but lacking the number of local residents to patronize the Legends businesses. I am thinking the city fathers need a darn good slogan to catch the attention of tourists. Something that will be catchy and has a little bit of its own sex appeal. I’m not saying to go for Vegas’ adult playground theme, since we want to draw in moms and dads with kids in tow. Perhaps something drawing on the people and interesting history of the city. The railroad thing is cute and all, but it lacks pizazz, and it would be cheating to steal the Wild West history of Reno (or “West Sparks,” which makes Mayor Geno Martini laugh while the rest of us groan and roll our eyes). I was straining to come up with something when a news story from this week gave me an idea.

You may have read about the Los Angeles traffic cop who is suing Victoria’s Secret for creating dangerous underwear. As the story was reported on the “Today” show, 52-year-old Macrida Patterson was putting on the offending undergarments in the locker room after a grueling shift of writing parking tickets when a piece of metal that created a rhinestone heart on the underwear “popped” and hit her in the eye. It hit her so hard, Patterson’s attorney said, that it cut her cornea and she had to — gasp! — apply a topical steroid to repair the damage.

It is taking a great deal of intense willpower to not spend several paragraphs mocking this woman, but I will overcome and get to my point. Lawsuits always manage to garner some attention, and Sparks has them to spare. Ever since I came to the Tribune a year ago I have heard about people suing the city, businesses suing the city, businesses suing each other, counter suits, bathing suits, birthday suits, every kind of suit. Each lawsuit has a story behind it with some interesting characters and scenarios, so instead of capitalizing on the usual Western histories involving cowboys or gold mining, why doesn’t Sparks promote its glorious, proud and fun-filled reputation of litigation? The slogan could be “Sparks: Land of the Lawsuits” or “Sparks: Litigationland.” With the latter, the city could build a theme park, a la Disneyland, complete with rides and shows. Sure, some of the stories may need to be exaggerated a little for flair, but there is plenty of truth to put on display, too. Picture this: A ride going through city hall where patrons sit in little cars and get to see city council members behind closed doors settling $100 million lawsuits, maybe adding a gunfight for some drama. As the car moves through a set of automatic doors, we see a city attorney chasing a female secretary through the office (imagine the pirates chasing wenches on Pirates of the Caribbean). At the end of the ride, would be a cheerful, plump mayor waving goodbye while he sucks down noodles from a huge plate of pasta, his face covered in tomato sauce.

Elsewhere in Litigationland, families can visit the print shop where a councilman printed the materials that got him embroiled in a lawsuit involving a local villain who sues everybody. Again, to add some drama to the story, two robotic likenesses of the characters could be added, maybe hurling bottles of ink at each other. After that, families could visit the castle of Good King Ascuaga to see a reenactment of he and his lawyers battling developers who have tried to usurp his power. At the marina there could be a roller coaster that zooms by the houses of residents who sued the city for blocking their views. After dinner, families could take in a show featuring the singing and dancing talents of former employees of the city attorney’s office.

It’s a no-brainer. Sparks has plenty of fun and adventure for the entire family. Not only will there be rides and shows for the kids, but mom and dad will appreciate both the humor and horror of the the situation.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go call my lawyer.

Nathan Orme is the editor of the Sparks Tribune. He can be reached at norme@dailysparkstribune. com.
Comments
(39)
Comments-icon Post a Comment
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Sorry about the multiple post. My browser exploded on me when I clicked submit. Can't seem to delete.
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Just a little information about background checks: any agency that can access criminal history records has to conduct fingerprint background checks through the state and FBI. Both the state and FBI require it. Since the Sparks City Attorney's Office accesses these records, all of the employees, including the City Attorney himself, have to pass this background check, even without this new law.
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Just a little information about background checks: any agency that can access criminal history records has to conduct fingerprint background checks through the state and FBI. Both the state and FBI require it. Since the Sparks City Attorney's Office accesses these records, all of the employees, including the City Attorney himself, have to pass this background check, even without this new law.
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Just a little information about background checks: any agency that can access criminal history records has to conduct fingerprint background checks through the state and FBI. Both the state and FBI require it. Since the Sparks City Attorney's Office accesses these records, all of the employees, including the City Attorney himself, have to pass this background check, even without this new law.
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Just a little information about background checks: any agency that can access criminal history records has to conduct fingerprint background checks through the state and FBI. Both the state and FBI require it. Since the Sparks City Attorney's Office accesses these records, all of the employees, including the City Attorney himself, have to pass this background check, even without this new law.
Info Only
|
July 02, 2008
Just a little information about background checks: any agency that can access criminal history records has to conduct fingerprint background checks through the state and FBI. Both the state and FBI require it. Since the Sparks City Attorney's Office accesses these records, all of the employees, including the City Attorney himself, have to pass this background check, even without this new law.
BUDDY'S BUDDY
|
June 27, 2008
Do you really want everyone to see the proof that your boyfriend Chet ADams is a convicted criminal?

Ask him to release his state bar record to you and the public. Oh, he won't? What does that tell you. With the new ordinance for the FBI background check, no more chet adams. Friends of Adams who are destroying the city attorney's office had better start looking for new jobs. Don't bother with the DA's office. The only person who can stand adams is Kadlic and he has a full staff. The investigation will provide additional proof. Face it chet. You are all washed up. And, you did it to yourself. Go find a bottle to crawl in to.
ConcernedTaxpayer
|
June 27, 2008
It appears to me that "NevadaGem," "URright," "Vote4Adams," "Vote For ChetAdams," "What About," "SIERRASNOW," and "Buddy!," all are the same pathetic individual. Enough, Chet. You're done. Give it up now...
SierraSnow
|
June 27, 2008
Again I ask you to show us the proof. Is there a web site we can go to?

I find you are the pathetic one here. An angry, bitter person you are indeed.

Prove me a liar. Show everyone the proof.

You are the liar.
Buddy's Buddy
|
June 26, 2008
Sierra Snow you are as pathetic and as much a liar as Adams. Since you write your lies and nonsense during business hours, you had better not be in the city attorney's office. Because if you are, you won't be for long. Grad is bringing a BIG broom to clean up the mess that Adams the convicted criminal has made. Adams still faces a possible criminal indictment and possible civil suits to repay the city for the money he stole by the payouts in his behalf. I can't wait to see the investigation of that creep all over TV. Everyone who doesn't know what a slime ball he is, will. That will effect him trying to get clients if he goes into private practice. However, since he is incredibly incompetent he will probably just return to his life of crime.
SierraSnow
|
June 26, 2008
show us the proof!
Buddy's buddy
|
June 25, 2008
SierraSnow, you are a LIAR. Grad never hit or harassed a pregnant woman. You have him mixed up with Adams. It never happened and Grad worked in the AG's office 15 years ago. Long time ago. Adams is harassing people NOW He is also a carpetbagger. He moved into the city to become city attorney. GRAD raised a family here and has lived in Sparks for almost 25 years. It has been VERIFIED that Adams has been seen putting up his signs during office hours. When have you seen Adams at a city council meeting? Not for weeks. So Sierra Snow, you are as much a liar as Adams is.
ConcernedTaxpayer
|
June 25, 2008
Hey SierraSnow, I happen to know at least four of the women harassed, belittled, womanized, etc., etc. by Adams in his office. Oh, and another little tidbit for the voters, the only difference between Adams and Debbie Smith's opponent, Adams rented a room in Sparks prior to be appointed City Attorney to carry on hanky panky with women while his house was up for sale. Just the sight of the his campaign signs (supposedly erected during hours he should have been in the office) make me nauseous. As for another comment by VoteforChetAdams, "Why fix it if it ain't broke," well, IT IS BROKE, SO LET'S FIX IT! Vote for Grad or ANYONE besides Chet Adams.
PattyO54
|
June 25, 2008
We must select an attorney who understands wht it means to have integrity. The current attorney does not have that.
Sammy8763
|
June 24, 2008
I am voting for Neil! We need a new blood.
Buddy's buddy
|
June 24, 2008
It is sad that the city council lets you guys write this stuff while our tax dollars are paying you. Where do you come up with this stuff? Why don't you prove it? Everything against chet, the sexual harassment, the incompetence, the abuse of power is DOCUMENTED. Chet is history and he knows it. Chet was FIRED from the DA's office TWICE! I have also heard he is so desparate, he is hitting on little boys. Maybe that is what buddy is writting about.
Disco Stu
|
June 24, 2008
You're all idiots.
Buddy!
|
June 24, 2008
And no Neil I'm not your buddy and if you ever come within five feet of my son again I'll turn my dogs loose on you.
SIERRASNOW
|
June 24, 2008
We will see whom hurt whom. I know the pregnant lady Grad sexualy harassed. She reported him and he was fired for what he did. He is the lowest form of a human I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The former AG is going public with Grads firing then let's see what happends.
Ricky J
|
June 24, 2008
Go Neil!! We need new blood in the city attorney's office! I am spreading the word to my neighbors.
Featured Businesses